I've been really down again, been avoiding people and going anywhere. Am just so fed up with everything. My marriage is crap, my children are driving me crazy (the youngest 2, they are so like their dad, and he drives me mad too). Kieron is whirlwind, if something doesn't move he climbs it. He makes up for it by being exceptionally cute and doing "the big blue eyes" at me! Still it's hard work going to work every day, and coming home to a zoo every night. It's chaos!
Work is another issue, my job is being made redundant due to a merger of 2 sections, so we have to fill out suitability forms to see if we can be slotted into a role on the new structure. It would be easier to apply for a new job! We have to fill out an 8 page document, which they will then come up with 6 key roles of the job which you have to provide evidence that we fulfill, and which will lead to a "chat" to see if we are suitable. Apparently this is not an interview, but we will be asked questions and be expected to give an indepth answer (is this not an interview then). If we are not successful at the end of all that then bye bye! I could put in for voluntary severance before this and get an extra 12 weeks redundancy pay, but then I risk no job at all. Its very handy where I am at the moment with having young children, they allow me to be very flexible.
Speaking of children, they are all on a loop of illness! It has been 6 weeks now since there hasn't been someone ill. We've had sickness bugs, chest infections, throat infections and a recurrent ear infection, which all me ready to drop in a heap and cry (and I regularly do!).
I hate moaning, and that is all I seem to do at the moment. I need to try to think positively but I just can't seem to find anything to be positive about. Still, I haven't had chocolate for 3 days, so thats one positive!!