Thursday, 27 January 2011

Catch Up Time

Day 1 went fantastically well, until 6.30pm when I cracked and binged :(

Day 1 hasnt happened again since.

I've had neuralgia (or so I thought) since before Christmas, ive really been suffering with pain in my face, I didnt realise how much it was getting me down. Well, I bit the bullet on Tuesday and went to the dentist in case it was a problem with my teeth. Came out minus one badly infected wisdom tooth and faceacheless, yay.

I went into work yesterday feeling like a new woman, raring to go again, my positiveness was back. ANd then my world came crashing down.

My mum's partner, Barry, my stepdad since I was 14, doesnt live with my mum any more but they were still a couple and were going on holiday tomorrow. They planned a shopping trip for yesterday, meeting at 12 to get some last minute bits and pieces. Barry didnt show up at 12, very unlike him as he's a stickler for timekeeping. By 130 my mum was worried enough to go check his flat, no answer but the windows were open and he wasnt answering his phone or buzzer. My mum rang me to see what she should do so I told her to ring the police for advice. They broke in and found that he'd passed away, some time since leaving my mum's house on Monday at 5.30. We still dont know whats happened but they think it was very sudden.

Im in shock, my mums in bits, we cant believe it. It has cured my binge eating for now though, I cant eat a thing.

RIP Barry, a very very special person 9.3.49 to 26.01.11 Night Night God Bless

A pic here I took of him at a childrens christmas disco in December, he was having such fun singing along to the kiddies music!!

Saturday, 22 January 2011

Day 1

So its Day 1 back on plan, its 9.40 am and I already feel like im struggling! Normally on day 1 I feel so empowered and raring to go and so positive. Right now I want crisps and chocolate, and to sit and eat nonstop like I have been doing.

Anyway so far I have had 4 points, porridge and milk. Im going to try really hard to stick at it, I know once i've got back into it the cravings will disappear and i'll be able to focus properly, and once I see the weight coming off again it'll keep me going.

AM going to try to get out for a walk today too, I havent been doing any exercise at all. It wont be easy with my 6 year old in tow, he gets upset by the end of the street, really doesnt like walking!!

As always, thank you all for your encouraging comments, im going to use them to spur me on and keep going.

Friday, 21 January 2011

FIngers Crossed!

I think I may be back (again)! As you can probably gather from my lack of posting, things have not been too good. I have binged my way back to 200lbs (just over 14 stones). I have been struggling with feelings of depression and eating none stop. I can sit and eat solidly for 3 hours of an evening, even when i feel so sick. I finally went to the doctors yesterday to beg for help.

I told him I have an eating disorder. I realise most people would say that an eating disorder means you're skinny through not eating or from binging and being sick. Well, my food habits are not normal either and I have serious food issues going on. To gain 10lbs in 2 weeks is not healthy. My doctor was very impressed with how much weight i'd lost, he commented on it as soon as I walked into his office. He took me seriously, has prescribed me a low dose of antidepressants and promised me he will find me someone to talk to.

I am not going to do Propoints. I dont like it, I feel restricted by it. I was happy doing the old plan (Vintage Points or VP) so im going back to that. I will see how it goes for a couple of weeks, if im still not feeling happy, then im sorry weightwatchers but it'll be Slimming World for me.

Keep your fingers crossed for me that making the decision to follow VP is enough to get me through this blip and im soon back on my way to goal!

Friday, 7 January 2011

Official Weigh In

I went to meeting last night, it was the first weigh in since 9th December, and i'd gained 9lbs! I was 13st 11 at Boots on Tuesday, but was 13st 6lbs last night, so i've either lost 5lbs since Tuesday or one of the sets of scales are a bit out!! As i've gone from eating all the crap I can get my hands on to sort of being good, I could very well have lost 5lbs since Tuesday.

Had another binge last night, but i think i got it out of my system! I had a HUGE Toblerone bar and made myself feel very sick!

So back onwards and inwards from today, thank you again for your encouragement! My initial target is to get the 9lbs i've gained off, by say mid Feb. Ive set myself a target of getting to goal weight by 12th July. Thats not a special date, i just pinched it off a friend of mine who is also aiming to get to goal by that date!!

Tuesday, 4 January 2011

Here Goes (I Think!)

I think I am ready to get going again!

Thank you to you all who took the time to comment on my last post. I havent yet been to the doctors, im going to give it a week or so and see if I feel better once im back in my normal routine, both life/children/work wise and with the weightwatchers. If things still arent right then i'll be off to the docs.

I went and weighed myself at Boots today, so I can prepare myself mentally for weigh in on Thursday. My weight is 13st 11 lbs, or 193 lbs, which is a gain of 1 stone, or 14lbs. Im not thrilled about this but I was obviously expecting it, im just glad it wasnt more than a stone, i dont think I could have coped had it been more!! I've had a good day today, no naughty foods so fingers crossed im now ready to be back on track.