Saturday, 17 March 2012

Ooops, AWOL Again

I fell off the wagon again. Haven't weighed myself but I undid all the good work I did.

I've been really down again, been avoiding people and going anywhere. Am just so fed up with everything. My marriage is crap, my children are driving me crazy (the youngest 2, they are so like their dad, and he drives me mad too). Kieron is whirlwind, if something doesn't move he climbs it. He makes up for it by being exceptionally cute and doing "the big blue eyes" at me! Still it's hard work going to work every day, and coming home to a zoo every night. It's chaos!

Work is another issue, my job is being made redundant due to a merger of 2 sections, so we have to fill out suitability forms to see if we can be slotted into a role on the new structure. It would be easier to apply for a new job! We have to fill out an 8 page document, which they will then come up with 6 key roles of the job which you have to provide evidence that we fulfill, and which will lead to a "chat" to see if we are suitable. Apparently this is not an interview, but we will be asked questions and be expected to give an indepth answer (is this not an interview then). If we are not successful at the end of all that then bye bye! I could put in for voluntary severance before this and get an extra 12 weeks redundancy pay, but then I risk no job at all. Its very handy where I am at the moment with having young children, they allow me to be very flexible.

Speaking of children, they are all on a loop of illness! It has been 6 weeks now since there hasn't been someone ill. We've had sickness bugs, chest infections, throat infections and a recurrent ear infection, which all me ready to drop in a heap and cry (and I regularly do!).

I hate moaning, and that is all I seem to do at the moment. I need to try to think positively but I just can't seem to find anything to be positive about. Still, I haven't had chocolate for 3 days, so thats one positive!!


  1. Sounds like you are really going through the mill at the minute.

    I've been through the same type of situation at work before so can sympathise with how upsetting it is.

    Sending good vibes over to you - hopefully things even out soon.

    Sarah. x

  2. Good luck with the job situation. I'm out of work in 2 weeks time as my contract ends and we get no redundancy pay :( Bad times!!!

  3. Our systems are crap. It is almost as if they have been designed to make people feel insecure. We follow some consultant who says to organise this way and then we wonder why things are disfuntional.

    Never mind, hang in there Gemma. One day you will look back and say "My God those were tough times, but I survived and now look where I am!"

  4. How is the job application/redundancy/sideways move going? Hope it was not too traumatic and that the kids are getting over their winter illnesses and that you are doing ok.

  5. Hi
    gemma. just stumbled across your blog.. Must tell you that I am so admiring your efforts to slim, you did lose such a whole amount, how is it going today?.. Hope you have stopped beating yourself up.. rearing kids is soooo hard and 4 on the go is a nightmare, I know as I managed to survive bringing up five!! Of course your relationship is under strain, but it is all part of the package, and I am sure that your redundancy fears do not help. I do hope that today you will have time to relax and look forward to Easter with your little family, and that you will have time to recharge before getting off to work next week... Hang in there, it is all worth it... and good luck with the diet... let me know how you do it, as I have at least 4 stones to lose too... so maybe we could be buddies doing it>> just an idea... take care, Janzi from down the M1~~

  6. Hey Gemma

    It's been ages since we've chatted. I've recently just got my blog up and running again and came across yours. So so sorry for all you are going through. You are such a trooper, honestly chuck and you really do give yourself a hard time.
    Work sounds like a nightmare with the structure change. I feel a big catch up is well overdue. Must try and meet up!
    Can you send me your mobile number as I had my mobile stolen. It was recovered by the police, but the sim was taken out and the phone cleared so I've lost everything.
    Take care and look forward to a catch up soon.
    Miss you loads xxx

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