Behaving Myself!

First of all , thank you to Tim for such a lovely comment on my last post :)

My kick up the arris on Saturday seems to have done the trick so far! I have been eating healthier, and I have cut out all the rubbish (cakes, pastries, chocs, crisps, bombay mix, cola/cherryade), haven't had any all week so far.

I got the courage together to weigh myself on Sunday, on the Wii, and as expected I have gained 3 stones, since April :/ Im now back up to 18.5 stone or 258 lbs.

I think my body is on a crash down from it all though, I have been having headaches, and my stomach, without going into TMI, is off! Probably withdrawals from the thousands of calories and all the sugar/fats I was scoffing.

SO you can get an idea of what I was eating on a typical day (im doing this to shock myself too, it always looks worse written down)

Breakfast - 2 toasted teacakes drowning in butter

Morning snack - banoffee flapjack

Lunch - sandwich (usually a large baguette), or 2 pasties, followed by a cake or danish pastry

Afternoon stodge (too much for a snack) - packet crisps (usually a big Grab Bag), bar of choc (normal size), can of cherryade/cola. I have been known to buy 3 iced fingers or large cookies and eat them all

Dinner - lots of takeaways, either chicken burger & chips, or Mighty Meaty (10 imch) pizza, with onion rings & garlic bread, or a chinese/indian

Evening - packet bombay mix or large bag crisps, large bag M&M's or family size choc bar, and sometimes a double pack of cake (choux buns, new york cheesecake, raspberry turnovers)

Yak

Been AWOL and Struggling

So its almost 3 months since my last post. I fell totally off the WW wagon, yet again. I have binged my way back to an unhealthy weight, i'm now struggling to get into size 22 clothes.

Yesterday I went to a meet off a forum i'm a member of, and having seen the photos ive realised what i've done to myself.

So im giving myself a big kick up the arris to do something about this, it cant carry on. I know a lot of this is emotional eating, its my way of "self harming" I suppose. I need to sort my head out, am going to try to find a counsellor to help me. I want to try to avoid taking any medication.

I havent weighed myself, i'm too ashamed :(