Update

My appt at the docs went ok. He signed me off work for 2 weeks. He also told me off for not going back to see him after my last appt, as I was supposed to go back in 2 weeks but it was more like 2 months. I've to restart my tablets (which I did do last night) and go back to see him in 2 weeks (I will go back this time!)

He was shocked when I showed him my pic, it's clearly visible i've put a lot of weight on. He weighed me (yuk), and I haven't quite gained all the weight back I lost, but he was concerned that I have gained around 30 kgs in less than 12 months. He has referred me to a Weight Management Class, my first appt is on 9th December, which will be a group appt, to decided if i'm a suitable candidate. If I do the programme, it is a 12 month programme, under the care of a doctor, a dietician and a psychologist, which could be really helpful for me to finally get to the bottom of this emotional eating.

Thank you for the supportive comments :) Now, I must rush as I have to get the house ready for visitors, it's Kieron's 2nd Birthday, eeep, hows that happened!

Docs Today

I'm at the docs in an hour. I neeeeeeeeed to sort myself out. I haven't been in work since Wednesday, it got to a point where I was sat there in constant tears, I can't go on like this, so i'm taking some time to try to sort myself out.

The idea was to keep busy and sort my sh*thole pig sty of a house out, but at the moment it is taking me all my effort just to get out of bed and stay out of it until bed time.

I really need to get my act together regarding my weight. I haven't weighed myself but i'm fairly sure I am right back to where I started (if not heavier). I'm going to show the doc a pic of me taken less than 12 months ago, I need to get back to where I was then, so I hope he has a magic wand! I was so happy and full of confidence. Now I just can't be bothered with myself. My hair is grey as I havent dyed it since the day before Barry's funeral, I can't reach properly to shave my legs so disgusting am I, that I haven't shaved them since June. I am struggling to dress myself cos i'm so fat it's like being 9 months pregnant and unable to reach my feet. My breathing sounds awful, if I walk upstairs I can't breathe and am wheezy (although I do have a bad cough too at the moment). All these were triggers for me to lose weight in the first place, and I know I need to do it, so why do I keep eating? I never feel full.

This is my pic, can't really believe it is me