Monday, 14 November 2011

Docs Today

I'm at the docs in an hour. I neeeeeeeeed to sort myself out. I haven't been in work since Wednesday, it got to a point where I was sat there in constant tears, I can't go on like this, so i'm taking some time to try to sort myself out.

The idea was to keep busy and sort my sh*thole pig sty of a house out, but at the moment it is taking me all my effort just to get out of bed and stay out of it until bed time.

I really need to get my act together regarding my weight. I haven't weighed myself but i'm fairly sure I am right back to where I started (if not heavier). I'm going to show the doc a pic of me taken less than 12 months ago, I need to get back to where I was then, so I hope he has a magic wand! I was so happy and full of confidence. Now I just can't be bothered with myself. My hair is grey as I havent dyed it since the day before Barry's funeral, I can't reach properly to shave my legs so disgusting am I, that I haven't shaved them since June. I am struggling to dress myself cos i'm so fat it's like being 9 months pregnant and unable to reach my feet. My breathing sounds awful, if I walk upstairs I can't breathe and am wheezy (although I do have a bad cough too at the moment). All these were triggers for me to lose weight in the first place, and I know I need to do it, so why do I keep eating? I never feel full.

This is my pic, can't really believe it is me
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6 comments:

  1. Tim14 November 2011 at 10:20

    Have you tried setting yourself simple small goals to complete to get the ball rolling?

    Maybe once you get a few things done i.e. dye your hair then it will cause a domino effect in a positive way?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Plumptious15 November 2011 at 09:40

    Hey Gems

    I agree with Tim. Set yourself one small goal everyday (a very achievable one) and you'll feel so much better once you start doing stuff. Distraction is a great tool. I sincerely know how you feel, I hope the doctors went well. It's so very hard to cope with depression but my favourite quote of all time is 'this too shall pass', and it will.

    Best wishes

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Missy B16 November 2011 at 07:26

    I just wanted to send you some much needed love Gem. You CAN do this. xxx

    ReplyDelete
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