Still Exhausted & Other Things

I still seem to be in a permanent state of exhaustion. Like really really tired.

I was on annual leave when i last posted, then the week after I rang in sick at work. I had a tummy upset but it was nothing that would have normally kept me off work. I just couldn't face it. I spent the whole week (well from 8.30am to 1.30 pm each day) in bed. I managed to drag myself back in to work the last two weeks, but it is tough going.

I seem to feel ok for about a week to 10 days, then i'll crash again and for a week - 10 days I feel like crap. the tears start and don't stop. I think they just dry up eventually, then build up supply again for a week or so before they start again. Today is the start of a slump.

I'm not taking the tablets (so not really doing much to help myself). I think i'm bigger now than when I started WW just over 3 years ago. Jake said the other night that "I was nice when I was thin and not sad all the time", that hurt. But it didn't hurt enough to stop me bloody well eating.

I can't cope with my children, I don't have the energy to be a mum, it all seems too hard and i'm crap at it.

As soon as i get up in a morning, i'm counting the minutes until I can go to sleep again.

Have an appointment with works doc on Tues, see if they've got a magic wand, it's what I need.