Oops I Did It Again!

Fell off the wagon again after that Saturday night binge :(

Back to work today again though, so fingers crossed I can get back into routine once again and get my weight going back in the right direction.

Got weighed today and was 15st 5lbs, eep.

Ive cancelled my weightwatchers membership, and am going it alone for the near future, so will see how that goes, I can always go back if im struggling.

Todays food:

Breakfast: special K & skimmed milk

Lunch: tin veg soup & 4 ryvita

Tea: ww chicken & dumplings, 2 slices bread with flora light

Snacks: small banana, packet ww crisps

Not So Good..

...Yesterday. Saturday nights are officially my weak spot! I need to find myself something to do on a Saturday other than sit in front of the TV eating rubbish.

Breakfast - 2 slices toast with peanut butter and banana (this was really filling and kept me feeling more than full until lunch time)
Lunch - jacket potato and beans and salad (we ate out again!)
Dinner - baguette with lettuce, onion and steak and a little light mayo (this wasnt very good, the steak was cheap and very tough and it just didnt satisfy me, which could have led to me eating too much later)
Snacks - pineapple, grapes, strawberries (fruit salad in the afternoon). This evening it all went a bit wrong and i had a tin of rice pudding (shared it with Kieron, but i had more than half), 2 inches of french bread with margarine and jam, 2 slices of toast with marg and jam and a packet of WW crisps. So it could have been worse!

Food Today

Breakfast - 1 and half slices toast with peanut butter and banana (this was lovely, I cant believe i've never thought of having it before!!)
Lunch - jacket potato and beans, with salad (lettuce, cucumber, mixed peppers and red onion)
Dinner - chicken chow mein
Snacks - alpen light bar

I took Kieron to a soft play place today, it was fab, we had such a good time. I felt like i'd done a heck of a workout though, as once I showed Kieron the slide, we had to climb up and slide down over and over and over and over and over (you get what I mean!). I stopped counting after the 17th time! I should sleep tonight, am shattered!

Today's Grub!

Today ive had
Breakfast - same again (going to have something different tomorrow!!)
Lunch - wholemeal roll, lettuce, onion, chicken & some mayo (full fat mayo naughty naughty!)
Tea - Asda Good For You chicken hot pot
Snacks - large banana, alpen light bar

Also need to add an alpen light bar to yesterdays food too.

Havent done as well with the water today, only had 2 or 3 glasses I think, but was so busy at work, as Ive finished today for a week of with the little un! So, as im off for a week, this is when im going to have to really dig deep for my will power, fingers crossed I can avoid too much temptation.

Thanks Tim for the suggestion of what to do with hub's chocolate - I will try that next time! I have to add also that he ate the entire lot to himself, bleurgh! Even on the maddest of mad binges I dont think I could have eaten all that!

Going Good So Far!

Thank you once again for the encouraging comments following my last post. Im not quiet there yet with my enthusiam, but my will power is kicking in good and strong, so fingers crossed my weight can start going back in the right direction now!

I want to record what I eat each day so I can look back so here goes:
Monday
Breakfast = Special K & skimmed milk
Lunch = ww soup & 3 ryvita
Tea/Dinner = chicken fajitas (chicken, peppers, onions, salsa & 2 tortilla wraps)
My daughter gave me a heart shaped lolly for Valentines Day so we shared that between us.

Tuesday
Breakfast - Special k & skimmed milk
Lunch = vegetable soup (tin of) & 4 ryvitas
Tea = one chicken breast, new potatoes & carrots
Snacks = large fruit salad (kept me going in the afternoon at work!), alpen light bar

Wednesday
Breakfast = Same
Lunch = Same as Tuesday
Tea = large portion penne pasta with tuna & light mayo
Snacks = large fruit salad again, packet ww crisps

Ive also been drinking water, lots of it, so getting much more exercise running to the loo all day!! Today ive had 6 large (or what I would call large anyway) glasses.

Had a sneaky weigh in, even though its only been 2 days, and ive already lost 3lbs, so feel like im getting back on track.

Husband doesnt help. Last night he went to the shop and came back with a large bag of Revels, 4 Boosts and some milky way choc bars, and spent a good 5 minutes waving them under my nose. Im glad to say i declined, and felt good about it afterwards! I also really really really wanted some peanut butter on toast (one of my face snacks), but managed to resist!

Oh. Eck!

I went back to work today, my first day back since Barry died. I realise I have put on some weight so went and bought 2 pairs of size 16 trousers on Saturday (bearing in mind size 14 were too big before Christmas).

They dont fit. Eek.

So I went to get weighed at lunchtime today, find out how bad the damage is.

Eeek again, Worse than I thought.

15 st 2lbs.

Eek. Ive put on a stone in the just over 3 weeks since I went to the doctors. Over 2 stone since just before Christmas. Im disgusted at myself.

So

_____________________________________________________________

Thats my line drawn, its done, the damage is there and there's only one thing for it - get back on track. So im going to try to cut out all snacking, as this is my downfall and have 3 healthy meals a day.

Today has been - special K for breakfast, ww soup and 3 ryvita for lunch and we're having chicken fajitas for tea. Im not counting points, im just going to try this approach for a while, and I havent decided if im going back to meetings or not, dont really see the point if im not following their plan, but im not making any decisions just yet.

Happy Valentines Day. We wont be doing anything to celebrate, as usual!!

Emotional

Im feeling all emotional tonight. I know its to be expected, I havent really felt it apart from when I very first found out about Barry dying.

He lived in a council flat, which was obviously boarded up after the police breaking in, and the lovely council wouldnt let us have access until we paid his rent up front. So we paid 2 weeks and we now have only until 11th February to sort out his flat. So there'll be no taking our time or doing it when we're ready. We went round today, and firstly I had to clean up where he had died, which wasnt pleasant. His glasses were on the floor, all bent out of shape, which got my heartstrings quite a bit. Also, the paramedics had left print outs from a heart machine of some sort and the pads they must have attached to him, lying on the floor, which was very distressing to find. His post mortem results came back yesterday too, he had an anuerysm in his brain, we are assured he would have died instantly and known nothing about it, which helps to know he didnt suffer. His funeral is next Tuesday.

We managed to sort all his clothes out. One thing for him, he was ridiculously neat and tidy!! This is good though as it makes it all much easier to sort his stuff out. There's just so much of it.

In other news, my friend Helen (who I was bridesmaid for last June), is pregnant and had her 3 month scan today. Im so so chuffed for her, it was seeing her scan picture today that made my tears start falling, a new little life just starting, when another has come to such a sudden end.

Weightwatchers - whats that?! Lets not go there, back to binging and eating far too much and gaining weight at a rapid pace. I'll get back to it once this week is over, i'll do it for Barry, he was sooo proud of me and I want to carry on making him proud.